Blame it on my wild heart

Man, things sure did get silly quick.

More silliness here.

Helsinki in the Dark

I don't think I saw the sun at any point during my time in Finland.

Are we Russian?

This pose looks decidedly Soviet, with maybe a touch of Rod Blagojevich from my hair.

Star Mooring Farm

Beautiful place, lots of cows and trees.

The Ring

There it is.

More Hooters

A few notes from Hooters in Shanghai:

1) The "Sichuan Spice" wings are really spicy. Really spicy.
2) Aaron is the king of Hooters. No ifs, ands, or buts about it. Game face was on from the instant we walked in the door.
3) I'm not nearly as good at Connect Four as I once was. Readers of the old "An Idiot in China" blog may remember some of my previous exploits, but this time I was regularly beaten by my dining companions.
4) Budweiser in China is not as epic a win as it should be. It seems a little more watery than its American counterpart.

Thanksgiving 2009

We're back from the mainland, which means we can finally start updating with pictures from the trip. The updates will be coming fast, believe you me.

Pictured above, Hooters on Thanksgiving. It doesn't get much more American than Hooters in Shanghai on a major holiday.

The Pilgrimage: Burnside Skatepark

Well, its been a solid decade since the thought of flying through the air on a glorified plywood plank has seriously crossed my mind, but during the visit to Portland I felt like I needed to make the pilgrimage to the world renowned Burnside Skatepark. This spot has been around for as long as I can remember with features in magazines galore, skate videos, even video games.

It took us awhile to figure out exactly where it was. While we were there I had the single greatest experience of my life involving someone asking me for money. A kid came up to Luke and me, looking sober enough to be coherent and said the following:

Can you give me two dollars and fifty cents? My friends and I are cooking a pasta dinner and we just realized that we don't have a cheese grater. We really need a cheese grater for this meal so please give us a spare two-fifty.

It goes without saying that I did not give him $2.50, but have since regretted not asking him to trade me a plate of food for cash. Maybe even a sliver of the cheese he so desperately needed to grate would have parted me from my $2.50. Then again, maybe I'm just not hip to Portland slang, and he was telling me that he and his friends were dope fiends.

On Finnair, Finland, the Unceasing Darkness, and Reindeer Flesh

I left Hong Kong Monday morning at 6am to go to the airport. Upon arrival at check-in I was told my flights from London to Helsinki had been canceled due to a Finnair pilot's strike. I was also told that Cathay and British Airways were working to re-book everyone and I should be fine. With this knowledge I boarded a 14 hour flight (and had the great misfortune of sitting in the same aisle as two children under the age of 5, whose parents decided early in the flight there was no way to shut up their kids so they would just drink "another full glass of white wine" and "another full glass of white wine, please" until they, not their children, fell asleep. But I digress.) Upon arrival in London I was told I had no flight to Helsinki after all, but they could get me there by the 19th. My return flight to Hong Kong is for today, the 18th.

After much rigmarole new flights on Scandinavian Air were secured. I spent the night in an airport hotel in London, where the guy next to me at the bar proceeded from check-in to "two double gin and tonics, please" so quickly he actually beat the computer system's ability to recognize his room number. Suffice it to say his drinking speed was stupefyingly rapid. Before I could finish a pint he was four double gin and tonics deep and I retreated to my room for an 8:30pm bed-time rather than face the conversation that was sure to follow. In my younger years I would have stayed put and done my best to figure out this guy's deal and what drove him to such depths, but I have aged.

The next morning I awoke at 4am to head to Heathrow to head to Stockholm to (finally) arrive in Helsinki. I got into Helsinki at 3:00pm, leaving me exactly 30 minutes of sunlight which were squandered on the drive to the hotel. The driver did tell me about an island off the coast of Estonia, where there are many Ukrainian girls. He insisted I change my flight home so I could see this spectacle to which I replied I had a busy schedule and this would not be fit in. He told me that if I didn't slow down one day I would look in the mirror and a 60 year old man would be staring back at me. Welcome to Helsinki, have a nice day.

Last night's dinner; however, was such badass Finnish cuisine (or Lappish if you want to cut hairs here) that I must share. Our apertif was a vodka-esque concoction called the Reindeer's tear. There was no clarification if tear was from the tear duct, or a ripping of the flesh. I will ask next time. Up next was Finnish beer, elk with cabbage, and salmon soup; all served with traditional breads and homemade butter. I was quickly getting into this meal. The main course was a reindeer fillet along with a reindeer roast. Both were served with potatoes and some berries. We finished the meal with a Lappish cheese with cloudberries and a cinnamon cream sauce. My coffee was served in a wooden mug, that has a special name that I could not pronounce, and therefore do not remember.

While my trip has been aggravating, this meal was so rad I know I will forget all the travel issues within a few days. I realized last night that there are really few places left that don't export their dietary staples to the rest of the world. In Vietnam, I ate food I could reasonably expect to find recreated (albeit on a slightly sub-par level) in Atlantic City, or Hong Kong or San Francisco, or on and on. The same is true with most places I've been. This was one of the first meals I've had abroad where if I didn't eat it in the local setting, I would probably never have the chance elsewhere.

More Frankel to turn frowns upside down

Shit eating grin? Check.

Follow and support Jay.

Frankel, Margot, and Sophia show off their poses.

What's better than a day at the beach? A day at the beach doing Asian Poses with Sophia, Margot, and Frankel, that's what. No need for commentary on this set.

Men Shake Hands

After a touching reception on the South Lawn, the delegation from Seattle was given a firm handshake and sent on its way.

Luke v Roy

Roy was a good man, who enjoyed to Dine & (presumably) Dance with frequency at Mary's. Luke is a better man, because he appreciated Roy's dedication and noted that they are still honoring him on the billboard a full five years after his passing. Good catch, Luke.

Sisters, outside of Bend, Oregon

Really enjoyed our time in the Bend/Sun River, Oregon area. Only spent a little bit of time there, but it was enough to make me want to come back. The drive from Portland is amazing, progressing along the Columbia River, up to Mt Hood, then through the high desert. Lots of different landscapes to be seen in just a few hours. There will be more photos from the drive posted at a later date.

Once we got in we decided to do some hiking. This is the first of the two hikes we did; a 7+ mile saunter up to and through a desolate lava flow, surrounded by The Sisters (two of the peaks shown), and some of the other Cascades. Hiking over volcanic rocks is a bit uncomfortable, as its similar to poorly packed gravel. Lots of minor slips, but no major falls. We went to a short peak, around 6,000+ ft, had a couple apples, took some photos, and went for a massive Western style breakfast. Good times.

You Can Has Cheezeburger

Portland has a fantastic food cart scene. Lots of little shacks, like the Brunch Box, that throw down with some delicious eats at very reasonable costs. I had read a bit about this in the New York Times Frugal Traveler article on Portland. During our visit we hit up a bunch of these places for serious gut busting meals.

The Brunch Box is famous (in my mind) for the YouCanHasCheezeburger. Its name is derived from www.icanhascheezeburger.com and it is a cheeseburger, minus the bun, plus two grilled cheese sandwiches. The eating experience was sublime. The thick pieces of toast, covered in butter and grilled with processed cheese gave way effortlessly to the 1/3 pound burger. It was almost difficult to taste the meat through all of the greasy, fatty, cheesy goodness.

With each bite I do admit to have felt arterial clogging, but I have faith in science to overcome this. The next day we went to a Mexican cart where they made burritos the size of artillery shells. Someday, when I have made enough money to ensure the next generations have a bright future, I may just need to retire to Portland where I can stroll the downtown hunting for inexpensive food and eat myself to death.

Meet me tonight in Atlantic City

Made it through Atlantic City this time around. First time in a long time I've been there and the weather was good. Usually I go to the beach house in the dead of winter, to do my best to kick the depression up to eleven. Living in the tropics has made me soft, I know.

Didn't quite realize the Guardian Angels were still roaming the streets, keeping us safe. Felt like I had somehow stumbled into 1978 when I saw them. I mean, seriously-- vigilantes on the streets of Atlantic City? Would have made Bruce proud.

Now there is a big building project, it'll be the tallest building in the state. Four huge cranes are towering over the boardwalk and ocean below. It's been bought by Chinese investors, because the locals all went broke.

Yankees Win, Shanghai Visit, and Other Thoughts

We had a big weekend. Stayed in Shanghai on the Bund, spent a lot of time in the French Concession and saw lots of friends. A brief recap for those of you scoring at home:

-Saw the traveling Salvadore Dali exhibit at the Shanghai Museum of Art. Mostly his later commercial works: illustrations for books, ideas for theater costume designs, his work on Spellbound with Hitchcock. Not terribly awesome. The Shanghai Museum of Art also failed miserably in designing the layout of what is probably the biggest exhibit its had. Rather than dedicating sufficient space to the works, they were all cramped together on the first floor, while floors 2-5 remained sparsely filled with Chinese propoganda art and caligraphy. Not impressed.

-Woke up early on Saturday hoping to catch the last few innings of the Yankees' game. Ended up watching for close to 5 hours. Great work by the best team in baseball all weekend.

-Spent most of Saturday afternoon at the Boxing Cat Brewery, where they actively encourage over-drinking and barfing. We witnessed more than a few expulsions of semi-digested alcohol during the Canadian/German attempt at the 12 rounds. Fairly gross. I feel bad for the waitress who got partially barfed on. Yikes.

-Saturday night we ended up at a fancy pants bar called Glamour that was on the Bund. Saw some Middlebury people, Sophia's coworkers, and our good friend Micah. Numerous 1951 martinis were consumed. Gin was spilt on the wrist, evaporation stances were employed, and my words were filled with passion, my olives filled with anchovies. Strong evening.

Time behind the firewall

I've been spending a lot of time up in the Hangzhou/Shanghai area, where Blogspot is blocked. As I am too lazy to find ways around the Great Firewall, there are no postings on facebook, twitter, or blogspot during these trips. I actually just concentrate on work (yikes).

Last week saw the following facts and figures:

-6+ minute solar eclipse watched from the top floor of our factory.
-4 hours of Guitar Hero, with the Metallica edition especially enjoyable.
-0 trips to Hooters, a terrible mismanagement of time on the part of all involved.
-2 hotel rooms and 1 guest bedroom dominated by my sleep.
-1 flight canceled so I could drive 2 hours, have a 15 minute meeting, then drive 2 hours back to Shanghai.
-45 seconds of a new Baron Davis viral video clip being put together by a company I visited.
-3 new production lines in the planning stages.

and my favorite of the week:

-44 arrests in New Jersey for corruption, money laundering, and all those other things that give the Garden State a good name.

Finally, if you haven't seen the Onion in its new, Chinese State-Owned Enterprise form, you haven't really been living.

Mid-Summer Despair

No long weekends on the calendar until October. Farewell white sand, thatched umbrellas, and clear waters. We'll meet again.

Unhappy Cab Driver

"Please turn off the god-damned flash."

Big Sky

Up above Sun Valley, Idaho; clouds bigger than New Jersey.

Bike Rides in Vietnam

Above are a few pictures taken from our trip through Vietnam in 2008. The top picture is China Beach (outside of Hoi'An), the middle picture is to give an idea of the bikes we rode (mine was the same as Sophia's; obviously hilarious), and the bottom picture is from outside of Hue. Outside of Hanoi and Saigon, we rented bikes frequently as a means to get around without having to deal with tour operators, motorcycle taxis, or shitty rental cars.

During our stay in Hue we rode around to a number of imperial tomb sites in the area. The largest of these was about 12km outside of the city, and to get there by bike requires a different route from the usual tourist approach on boat. As the guide books maps were spotty at best, we figured we could use Sophia's navigational skills to sort it out as we got closer. After a pretty long time we began to worry we had gone too far; the road had more hills than our bikes could really handle, and there was really no sign of (or for) the site. Then a woman on a motorcycle pulled up and asked if we were headed for the imperial tombs. She guided us back to her home/rest-stop along the road where there was a path that led to the tombs.

We stopped at her rest stop and had a drink. She informed us that because we had passed the turn off for the tombs, if we had kept riding we would have ended up at the Laos border. So, we almost accidentally invaded Laos by bicycle. As we walked along the path to the tomb there were rice paddies (see photo) and a wall that marked the border of the tomb. Soon a little kid appeared and took us to a hole in the wall we could crawl through to avoid paying the entrance fee, but we'd have to pay him. We ended up going to the the main gate.

Business Trips of Yesteryear - ISPO 2007

Back in the day I used to go on badass business trips around Europe. These pictures are from one of those trips. We went to ISPO in Munich with the Union Binding Team so we could occasionally put down our beers and explain the manufacturing prowess that goes into every pair. Totally blew some minds with our technical lingo. Also got bored and created the little appendage for that guy in the top picture.

On a separate trip that included a brief stop in Paris, Jeff (right side, bottom picture) and I decided to forgo any Parisian cuisine for Chinese food, because at least at a Chinese restaurant we would know when the waitstaff was making fun of us. That trip also saw us carrying nine foot surfboards around Paris, occasionally making scenes by knocking them over or into people. Remember, this was pre-Obama; a couple of Americans making loud noises and whacking French hipsters in the heads with surfboards was completely unacceptable to the locals.

Kraftwerk

I once spent two hours watching four Germans in tight fitting black clothing stand behind synthesizers and in front of a huge screen of flying pills. However, the screen certainly changed with every song, and at one point there were four robots in place of the Germans.

Given the opportunity, I would most certainly repeat the experience.

A Note From my Badass Sister

Hi All,

I wanted to provide you with some facts before I got into the body of this email. As you can see, blood cancers affect many people, especially young adults and children. As some of you know, I will be cycling 100 miles in Salisbury, MD for The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society (LLS) on October 10, 2009.

My dad and I are doing this ride as a team, "Beauty and the Beast" is the name of our team and although you may not know him, the name is very appropriate :0). He is the one who encouraged me to get involved with LLS as he participated in their Lake Tahoe ride last year raising over $4000 for LLS. I have just started training, and rode for the first time on a road bike last Friday for 17.5 miles. That is a long way from 100 miles, but hopefully between now and October, I will continue to train and 100 miles in one day will feel like a piece of cake!

Part of this ride is raising $2800 to help find a cure for these blood cancers. If you would like to donate, please use the link below.

Please do not feel obligated to donate and also feel free to pass this email along to anyone you think would be interested. I want to make sure to get this out to as many people as possible as it is for such a wonderful cause.

If you have any questions please do not hesitate to contact me.
Thanks,
Brenna
To donate, please click here: http://pages.teamintraining.org/snj/seagull09/bskaar

Lazy Tourist

Yeah, she was about 1/3rd my weight, but there were 3 other people in the boat...so I'm off the hook, right? On the way to the Perfume Pagoda in lovely Vietnam.

Safety is for the Weak

I guess he is wearing a safety helmet.

Way Back in '05

He's writing out his life story.

The Jungle Bar

The first month I lived in China was spent at a big private school outside the Shenzhen Special Economic Zone. It was indicative of China and Shenzhen's glaring gaps between the urban, industrializing areas and the rural, farming poor. While we were within Shenzhen city limits, by going out the back entrance of the school and walking for ten minutes, we'd be in a world of run down homes with little tying them to the modern world, basic farming on small plots of land, and the "Jungle Bar".

The Jungle Bar was not a bar, but the little shop the local villagers went to for everything from soy sauce to Pringles. Its shelves were packed with one or two of all the basic necessities, and thanks to their electric scooter anything could be procured from the industrial area a scant 10 minute ride away. Just on the other side of the school were large factories, apartment buildings, electronics shops, grocery stores. The Jungle Bar side was jungle.

We drank their beer at cement picnic tables under the shade of aluminum roofing and some spotty palm trees. The local dogs would lie in their stench nearby while we hooked up some speakers and listened to ODB. The Tsingdao cost 3 RMB.

That is how I spent 4-5 nights per week for my first month in the country.

Where's Waldo?

That's me, doing what I do best: sweating in a factory.

Just for the record, I am the only person sweating. This is usually the case.

Idealism Marred by Realism

Beaches are way better than offices, but the pay is shit.

First Post (hopefully also not Last Post)

Summer in Hong Kong is no joke. Humid, hot, generally horrid weather mixed with the scents of wet markets, decomposing trash, and the guy standing next to you. Gruesome usually, uncomfortable constantly, tolerable only indoors. A long slog, but we didn't move here because it would be the easy life. No, we are here for the action, adventure; sweaty summers be damned.

This afternoon I get my new China visa, and Saturday we storm the mainland to celebrate the 4th of July. The celebration will include a pool, a tailor, Japanese food and beverage, topped off with a KTV dessert. After we recover, I will push further up the Pearl River where hotel meals and Corporate-ese awaits. Deadlines to meet, deals to discuss, margins to analyze. Later in the week I'll pull a quick 18 hour tour of duty in Shanghai, avoiding the glitz and glam, and embracing an early morning car ride to the middle of nowhere.

After the trips to Malaysia and Idaho over the past 6 weeks there's little hope of any kind of quick vacation in July or August. Worse yet, we have now entered into the Hong Kong Public Holiday Draught (aka, Bring on the Level 8 Typhoons, Please). From July 2nd until September 30th there will be no random long weekends, sneaky Tuesdays off, or even the previously unknown Buddhist holiday to keep us out of work. Here's hoping for a strong gust of wind, black rain, and level 8's.